Wednesday, July 18, 2012

You're the Only One Who Brings me Peace.

So sorry I skipped out on posting last week. I’ve been researching nonstop to try to figure out what I’m doing after this summer.  My tentative plan is to have a gap-year of some sort (work, internship, discipleship program) and then go to graduate school in the fall of 2013. I feel like I’ve scoured the internet for programs that are interesting to me, and are paid for, and I’ve come up with some pretty good options. I’ve had two interviews over the phone and I still haven’t found the one that sounds perfect to me, but I’m praying that God will lead me to where I need to be. It’s exciting and overwhelming at the same time to feel like I have a lot of options, but I know that it will all work out.

This week will be our last full two week outreach, the final group for the summer is staying just for one week. After that we will go to the beach for a couple of days and then I’ll be on my way back to the states! Just three more weeks! I feel like this summer has absolutely flown by! The group that we have here is the biggest group we’ve had all summer, which is actually super fun. They are high school students, so I feel like they kind of just do their own thing and they’re really excited about everything, makes me job really easy!

Last weekend we went to a beach called Cabarete on the north side of the island. It’s so nice to be able to get away for just a day and be somewhere absolutely beautiful. We ate at an Irish Pub on the beach (kind of an oxy-moron) and I spent the afternoon walking and talking with Ellie, one of the beautiful interns here. The waves at that beach were a little bit bigger so it was really fun to play in them and sit on the beach. Cabarete is one of the more touristy beaches, which was actually really fun for us because there was just more stuff there. The beach we went to two weeks ago was more of a best-kept-secret kind of thing, this was nice because there was good food and some people did some shopping for their families at home.

Over the past couple of weeks I feel like I’ve really been able to have good quality time with people here. Vicki and I have found a few spaces of beautiful conversation and good time together. I’ve been sharing my story with a few of the interns here, it feels good to be known. Her beautiful little girl Julia, who was born the day after I got here is beautiful and growing quickly. It's been a while since I've been around an infant regularly, and I absolutely love it. She is so loved.

I made a list the other day of things that I love. I know it sounds cheesy, but I was feeling kind of down and it was just an exercise in thankfulness. Feeling known by other people is something I’ve realized is very important to me. I want to feel understood, as well as to understand others. As I’m looking towards my future, I know that this is something I need to keep in mind. My heart beats quickly for building community and getting to know other people’s hearts, and to have others know mine. Although this is not necessarily a job description, I know that I want to be able to drop roots somewhere and build honest relationships.

There’s a Dominican woman who works here at SI who has been an incredible encouragement in my life lately. Her name is Miriam and she is an older woman who works at the microfinance site. Her job includes processing micro-loans for women in poor communities so that they can start small businesses and support themselves. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve gone with her a couple of times into the community, and she just has a special way about her when she is with people. She is soft spoken and kind, has an awesome sense of humor and she genuinely cares for people. She makes me feel safe and loved. If I have a mother-figure here at the base she is probably it.  One of the life-goals for many Dominicans is to move to the US and make more money than they could here, but I have heard Miriam say that she never wants to, that she is happy here, which is a huge testimony to the Dominican women she serves about being content where one is at. Last week she stopped me after a meeting and pulled me aside kind of awkwardly and simply said, “Margie, tu futuro está en la mano de Dios, no te preocupes in eso.” “Margie, your future is in God’s hand, don’t worry yourself about it.” afterwards she walked away, and I was left knowing that I will never forget that moment. I hadn’t talked to her about my worries about my future, she didn’t know that I have been struggling with knowing what’s next. She’s a special lady and I am honored to know her.

I’ve been extremely impacted by this song lately, my God is the only one who brings me peace in times of stress, trouble, exhaustion, frustration. So glad I have a hiding place, comfort. I feel like God has been asking me to simply wait and listen for his direction for my future, for the next year and this song has been super comforting. Listen for a minute if you have time.